Thursday, October 10, 2013

The Misfits: Buick Grand National GNX

Human beings. We are perfectly imperfect in almost every way. We get sick, we get sad, we get mad and everything in-between. But being so imperfect makes us strive for perfection (or the closest thing to it). More often than not, we try to change ourselves to be something we are not in order to achieve this "perfection". So many people say that you shouldn't change who you are, and I would agree with that statement. Be who you are and be true to your roots, but don't be afraid to go off the beaten path once and a while.

So how does this abstract life lesson tie into cars? You are reading "The Fast Lane" after all...it has to apply to cars somehow!

Not long ago, a movie/documentary was released discussing the history of the Buick Grand National called "Black Air". I watched this film and it really spoke to me both as a car enthusiast and a human being. It showed how you can try to be something that your not, but you always are dragged down by your past; a lesson for the car industry and life. Ultimately, you can never escape where you came from.

For those unfamiliar with the Grand National (which is likely not many of you), here's some background on it.

Warning! I'm going to go all "James May" with numbers and statistics about the car so bear with me

This blacked out Buick was the ultimate 80's muscle car; demolishing the likes of Corvettes, Mustangs and Camaros. The Grand Nationals were the undisputed kings of the drag strip.

But there was a problem, not with the car but with business. GM couldn't have anything in their line-up faster than the Corvette (the early 80's Corvette had 180HP so a modern base model Mini could probably outrun it). So GM's solution to this was rating the Grand National's power significantly below what it actually made. When it was first introduced in 1982 it was rated at 200 hp and 300 lb/ft of torque (assuming you opted for the turbo model with the 3.8L V6). By the time 1987 rolled around, the Grand National was producing as much as 245 hp and 355 lb/ft of torque. These numbers, as I mentioned earlier, were significantly low. The GNX, which was the top of the line Grand National that was introduced in 1986, had the engine and turbo fiddled with and tuned by Garrett and ASC/McLaren. Yeah....Garrett turbo in a Buick....and McLaren too for that matter....

So what were the actual numbers that a 1987 GNX put down? Dyno sheets have shown a bone stock 1987 GNX put up to 340 hp and 450 lb/ft of torque at the wheels!!!

To put this in some perspective, a Ferrari Testarossa produced 390 hp and 361 lb/ft at the crankshaft. So account for 10% drive-train loss and it makes roughly 351hp and 325 lb/ft of torque. The Lamborghini Countach produced similar numbers as well. So basically here was a car that was a huge Buick but produced the power of a Lamborghini. It was BONKERS. The Buick also sprinted to 60 in an astounding 4.6 seconds, which is fast by modern standards. It was the quickest car to 60 miles an hour in the 80's (unless we are including the F40 and 959 but so few were made that they are irrelevant in this scenario).

To think all these technical achievements were made by a Buick is astounding. But despite being a lethal turbocharged drag racing machine, it could never escape the fact that it was a Buick. It will always be seen as a car driven by an aging retired laborer who wanted a comfortable and simple car to get from point A to point B.

And that's a real shame, because Buick has made some truly legendary cars. Maybe Buick can never break the perception of their company. Maybe they are destined to be driven by middle class middle aged individuals who want fake wood trim on their dashboards.

But the perceptions of others should never stop you from trying to break the mold...

You are dearly missed by all Grand National, I hope I see you again soon.


Drive Classy My Friends,

TheFastLane

The Little Red Datsun

I can still remember the first time I noticed cars. I was 6 years old and I was sitting outside of my local pool (basically my second home during the summer time) waiting for my mother to pick me up and take me home so I could indulge in hours of play time on my PlayStation. I was sitting on a bench and right in front of me was an empty parking space. As I was sitting there, a red Datsun 240Z pulled up and occupied that space right in front of me, almost as though it was meant to be there. The man who was sitting in the drivers seat got out and walked by me without a second glance. He must have noticed my expression because I was staring at this car like it was the Mona Lisa. I had never seen something so beautiful in my life.

After he left his car I started examining the little red Datsun. I walked around the car once, twice, three times, four times.......

I had to have walked around that car 100 times by the time my mother came to pick me up in her little blue Mazda. She strapped me into the back seat and we set off on our merry way. My eyes were on the little red Datsun all the way out of the parking lot. I legitimately stared at it until I physically couldn't see it anymore (a small hedge got in the way).

The second I got home I jumped on my dad's Dell desktop and started to scour the web for information about this car I saw. I typed "Datsoon 240S" in the search bar (I was six and I couldn't spell that well) but Google knew what I meant and displayed multiple websites about the car. I read about it for hours, learning every specification I could despite not knowing what half of them meant.

The rest is history. Over the years I gathered knowledge on cars from around the world and all they're specifications. When I learned how to use power tools (safely), I started fixing cars for fun. I became an encyclopedia of knowledge for cars and even today I still get excited when I see a car I've never seen before.

Cars have been a huge part of my life and I have some of my best friends because of cars. My friends and I gather around a car to fix it instead of gathering around a campfire. It brings us together. It gives us common ground despite our different upbringings. Driving gave me happiness in dark times. Driving gave me pleasure when I had none.

This is my story, what's yours?

Welcome to the Fast Lane